


Skxawng

by Tomed



Category: Avatar (2009)
Genre: Awkwardness, Character Death, F/M, Family Loss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Judgment, Love Triangles, M/M, Male Friendship, Multi, Overprotective, Parenthood, Physical Disability, Polyamorous Character, Romance, Sexual Tension, Submission, Traditions, Trust Issues, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2019-01-20 10:54:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12431292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tomed/pseuds/Tomed
Summary: Jake had everything he could possibly dream of. He was with Neytiri, they had two beautiful children and found a new home worth living in... If it weren't for the fact that he was all but up to the task of being the Olo'eyktan. He was better with the language, which was truly a blessing, but he still had to learn so much... And there was the fact that he was worried about the gloomy Tsu'tey nearly constantly. He just had to! Because he knew best how hard it was to cope with not being able to do the things you've done before. He knew exactly how that was and what ideas came to one's mind if left alone for too long... But the more he acts on his protecting nature the more he realizes that he was about to entrap himself in some sort of emotional roller coaster -with no way of turning back.





	1. Chapter 1

“Letxi, don’t bully your brother!”

Laughing the little girl ran away, her brother close by.

-“Don’t worry, mother, I’ll get my revenge!”

“Nimwey, please-”

Neytiri shook her head lightly but her eyes were warm and her lips were curled to a soft smile. Jake snickered.

“They listen like a dumb rock.”

-”Well, it appears they take after their father.”

Jake made a fake hurt sound looking jokingly to Tsu’tey, who did not smile with his mouth but with his eyes. At the beginning Jake never thought that they would get along just fine. But it was the truth. And he was grateful for that because to his utmost surprise he really cared for what Tsu'tey thought. Especially when said Na'vi thought to be alone, because then one could see clearly the wish for death in his eyes. And it hurt Jake somehow.

He sighed and watched his children chasing each other. Letxi was the older one, born a few minutes before her brother. And she was definitely more like himself, loving the adrenaline, the danger... She was running and climbing almost every day and loved hunting. Her dream was to become the best huntress, even better than Peyral. Nimwey however was calmer, he loved exploring flora and fauna and hated his hunting lessons with passion. He even disliked meat, which was hard to cope as a parent at first. But they eventually learned to accept that strange wish of him. As troublesome as it was sometimes.

Nimwey caught up with Letxi, hugged her tightly from behind and then gave her the biggest kiss on her cheek he could muster. Letxi was perplex at first, but then managed to hug her brother back, wiping her drooled cheek on his with passion.

“Ew, Letxi!”

“Blame yourself, you moron!”

Laughing their chase after one another continued. Neytiri sighed and leaned closer to Jake while he was reliving his own memories. 

“They remind me of when Tommy and I were little...”

“I feel for your parents.”

She smiled mischievously but Jake couldn’t muster a proper reaction. His eyes shifted up to the sky.

“Well, we lost our mother when we were 11 and our father had left us at age 4. Went somewhere far from us.”

Immediately Neytiri tensed.

“Oh, Jake, you’ve never told me!”

“It’s alright.”

The silence was kind of awkward. Jake was about to give in to his impulse to flee.

-”Who took care of you after the death of your mother?”

Tsu’tey didn’t hide his honest interest and Jake appreciated his open yet cautious concern. He learned by now that Tsu’tey was not close with everyone. In fact after all of his friends had died at some point during the invasion of the humans he was with nearly no one on a friendly term. He had been kind of close with Neytiri, at least to an extent, being betrothed to one another, but now after her mating with Jake it was quite tense between the two of them.

Despite that there was still his disability that hindered him to be in close contact with anyone at all -to be exact it wasn't the disability that did that, it was his pride. If it wasn't for the stubbornness of Jake the bitter warrior wouldn't leave his _nivi_ other than to eat something that was for sure.

“...Well, we were put into an orphanage, where all those children live that lost their parents or were handed over.”

“There are parents that don’t want their offspring?”

Neytiri looked at him with big eyes. Jake shrugged.

“Yeah... Either that or they just couldn’t afford to care for them. Some are too poor to secure the life of their children. They give them away so that they have food and education.”

“That’s horrible!”

Jake sighed.

“There are worse things than that in my old world, believe me… Anyway, the one’s in charge of the orphanage can do what they want with the children, we hadn't any voice at all. They wanted to place Tommy and me in different families because we were too erratic together, 'unacceptable for a possible new family' they claimed... We weren’t fond of their decision and made enough trouble in our new 'homes' that we never lived longer with those than a couple of months. We thought that that would make them see their mistake...”

Tsu’tey scoffed.

“I hardly believe that that worked.”

Jake smiled afflicted.

“Yeah, we were naive.”

“What happened after that?”

“We were delivered to a dozen foster families until we had a reputation for being troublemakers and no one wanted us anymore. With 14 we were one of the few kids that lived in the orphanage permanently. But Tommy wanted to go to college and because of our behavior before they thought we were not worth it... I enlisted myself to the military to earn money and with it Tommy could attend trial lessons for a scholarship. He only needed that much to make every professor love him. Back then he had already been obsessed with the tales of Pandora. He had big dreams and planned exactly what he wanted to achieve with a strict schedule, while I was failing to figure out what to do with my life.”

“...You do not talk often about your former life."

"Well..."

Jake really didn't know what to say. Pandora was not comparable with...well, everything. Nothing back there was something he thought fondly of. He never liked thinking about it, so the need of talking about his former life was small.

-"Sempu!"

Nimwey hobbled to them, crying heartbreakingly while being supported by his sister. Immediately Jake leapt to his feet and lifted his son up to comfort him.

"What happened?"

Letxi scratched her head irritated while Nimwey was at a loss of words and just hugged his father deeply.

"We had fun climbing a tree and then he climbed on a dead chunk and fell on his leg."

Sighing Jake sat down again, still with his son in his arms.

"How bad is it?"

Embarrassed Nimwey looked to Tsu'tey. His father and him were close to one another but he still was pretty intimidated whenever he had to speak in his presence. His mother registered his reluctance and examined his knee without waiting for an answer.

"The bleeding already stopped, it will hurt for a few days, but you should be fine."

Nimwey nodded slightly, still clinging to his father. He needed some moments to gather himself, before he was settled enough to accept the help of his sister to try and use his leg again.

"Maybe we shouldn't climb again today... Maybe we should ask Ninat for some storytelling?"

Nimwey was visibly excited.

"...I'd like that!"

Smiling widely Letxi helped her brother walking his first steps and carefully watched him walk on his own as if she feared that he could hit a rock and get hurt yet again. Her protectiveness brought a smile to the adults. Neytiri got up.

"I'll have to attend a meeting with Mo'at."

She rested her head for a short time against Jake's before leaving. And sooner then later she was out of sight. Jake was a bit on edge every time he was alone with Tsu'tey. He felt for the other male. Deeply. The inability to walk properly was drowning the other male.

"You want to train?"

Tsu'tey gifted him with an annoyed look. Jake rolled his eyes.

"Come on, we can go somewhere else so no one will see us."

Growling Tsu'tey looked aside. That was as much a OK as Jake would get, so he stood up and helped him to his feet. It took a while until Tsu'tey stood steady enough to allow Jake to loosen his grip around his wists again. Jake suppressed a growl. The prideful Na'vi shouldn't have those kind of troubles. But Tsu'tey's tswin had been badly injured. The human that had attacked him on the ground cut it off before the Na'vi had been rescued by his ikran. He barely managed to live with all those bullet holes in his body and his cut off tswin.

And if it weren't for those humans that were allowed to stay -the scientists, healers and few soldiers that weren't greedy assholes- then Tsu'tey would be dead for sure. They stopped his bleeding, took the bullets out of his body and managed to put him in one of those strange pods to keep him alive while reconnecting his tswin. It kinda worked but, well, not entirely. His balance wasn't what it used to be and if he didn't concentrate he hit the ground.

Tsu'tey snarled. He knew exactly what was going on in the other's head and he hated the sympathy he saw there. As if Jakesully knew what he had to endure! He knew nothing! Every movement required much more attention, yes. And that was definitely hard. But the hardest part was that Tsu'tey somehow lost the control of his bladder and even worse, his excrement. It was something he just didn't accept -couldn't. Something none of his clan was allowed to know. So far the only Na'vi knowing of this was Mo'at.

Either way he participated only on small hunts, he held his speeches together with Jake, he made sure everything was alright within their new home -a union of many big trees, connected with long bridges made of leaves and wood. Their housings were built around the trunk with the same ingredients they needed for their _eywa k'sey nivi'bri'sta._ It was hard work and nothing like Hometree, but it was enough. He helped his people as best as he could. Which wasn't enough. Jake managed good for being a former Dreamwalker.

All in all everything was different. And somehow he felt different himself. Mo'at often talks to him about him needing to 'open up' to somebody, to 'divide his burden'. He wasn't interested in doing so. It was his problem. His alone. It was too intimate. He was still their leader, well, together with Jake -which was a strange constellation that had never happened before in Na'vi history and still wasn't something they yet talked about. Two Olo'eyktan. There were some difficulties because of that, of course. Complications regarding their connection with the other tribes. And definitely some mocking. But for now they managed to withstand any public criticism so far.

But all was lost if it would somehow be known that he... That he was...one who could not use his body properly anymore. He was a hindrance for Na'vi as a whole. He knew of at least 3 former great warriors that killed themselves honorably due to their battle injuries, he and his hunting parties sometimes sung for them after a great hunt...

His song would not be about honor or great achievements. It would be a story of loss, grief and incompetence. And that knowledge hurt more than his disability itself.

No one was allowed to know of his difficulties. _No one_. How could anyone see him like a leader if they knew with what he dealt on a daily basis? If they knew that he had a hard time figuring out when he had to go to the bushes to relieve himself? That he couldn't even control it and had to wear special, thick leather stripes in his trousers so no one can see his failures? There already was talking about his new 'sense of fashion' regarding him wearing that dark trousers they normally only wear while riding one's ikran...

He will be a figure of fun if everyone knew. By Eywa, he himself would've looked down upon such a "warrior" for sure!

"...Tsu'tey, my friend, you seem to be in deep thought."

The Na'vi shuddered and tried his best to ignore the feeling that accompanied his dark thoughts as best as he could. Jake was looking at him in his typical way that made him feel like his naked soul was laying right in front of that man. It was scary how much the former Dreamwalker seemed to know just by looking at him...

Coughing he concentrated on moving his legs to be able to follow the other one to a more secluded spot.


	2. Chapter 2

 Tsu’tey watched the dreamwalker discussing something with his children. _Twins_. It was still odd to him, even after almost 6 years. Twins were something extraordinary within their culture. It did not happen often that Eywa granted them with such a gift. He had only heard of one of those rare children in the tipani clan.

He sighed as he registered that Jakesully spotted him and seemed to decide for himself to come over to his spot. Tsu’tey often just sat on his new home, a healthy tree with big chunks, and watched his people living their everyday life. Sometimes he joined them, but most of the time he decided to watch from afar.

He wasn’t keen on anyone being able to smell his excrement before he himself realized anything. The thought alone made his stomach ache terribly. Since his injury he feared almost constantly for the exposure of his secret. His life was nothing like before. He hated it.

“Hey, Tsu’tey, what’s up?”

Jakesully climbed his tree up without asking for permission -he always did that. But Tsu’tey never said anything. He had no idea why though. It just happened some time ago and now it seemed stupid to remove the already granted permission.

The former dreamwalker bumped into his left shoulder in a friendly manner that made him sigh in annoyance. Well, it was mostly no real annoyance to be honest, he did not care for most of the other ones strange behavior. And maybe he started to like the seldom occasions in which Jake violated his personal space. Those small gestures were stupid and mostly unnecessary, but they were honest and endearing in their innocence.

Jakesully was still as dumb as a rock of course, he did not know many important things and behaved strange most of the days, but he was a trustworthy being and most importantly: he cared deeply for the Na’vi. And as strange as it was, he seemed to sincerely care for Tsu’tey as a person.

“Tsu’tey? You still there?”

Jokingly Jake poked his arm, just with enough force to pass for the banter, but still with the utmost care for his disability. Tsu’tey wanted to punch the slightly bigger male just as much as he wanted to hug him for that insightful yet too meaningful gesture. There were so many occasions in which the dreamwalker was almost too much for Tsu’tey. So much fondness… so much that it was hurting. It was a frightening thing to acknowledge.

He sighed and tried to calm himself.

“...I am.”

Jake frowned a bit, but covered his worry with a mostly carefree smile. Not that it could blend the other one, but Tsu’tey appreciated the intention.

“You’re really talkative today, aren’t you?”

Tsu’tey shrugged and Jake understood that he had too much on his mind right now. And he had every right in the world to feel like everything was too much. In fact Jake was really happy that he was allowed to stay in the first place, that the Na’vi trusted him enough to feel safe with him. This here, sitting silently together and enjoying the quiet company, well, that was an entirely different form of intimacy than anything he experienced so far. Sometimes it felt so intense that in his mind he kept comparing their strange bond with Neytiri’s and his first mating -which was a really embarrassing fact he wouldn’t dare to acknowledge out loud.

“…I would ‘ve never thought that my people would be able to live in peace ever again. ...I still can’t believe it.”

Tsu’tey’s sudden statement surprised Jake. The former human averted his eyes, still couldn’t help to feel the sting of guilt every time he thought about the past events. He sighed.

“The Company won’t give up that easily... As much as I would love to ensure you that our people will enjoy their future peacefully.”

Tsu’tey watched Jakesully with fascination. Now it was not the awkward former dreamwalker that sat beside him, now he saw Toruk Makto looking at the people with a thoughtful and serious frown.

“I’ll be honest with you, Tsu’tey, I am really afraid of the day they’ll be back again.”

Tsu’tey felt the need to comfort the other male, but was not sure if that would be appreciated. Jake seemed so miserable right now, as if he felt responsible for everything the sky people had done so far and could do in the future. It was ridiculous, but Tsu’tey himself had blamed Jake for everything that had happened at the day they lost Hometree. Their blaming back then seemed to have impaired Jakesully’s ridiculous sense of guilt. It still lasted so far and Tsu’tey wasn’t sure how to undo this mistake.

“We already prepared us for that possibility as well as we are able to.”

Jake sighed.

“I know. But they’ll be prepared, too. And you can’t understand what they’re capable of… If they pleased, they could very well destroy the whole planet without much effort, without necessarily touching the ground... Those weapons they used here are not comparable with what they have in storage back at earth.”

Tsu’tey listened with a blank expression. There wasn’t much else he could do. Jake was right, he couldn’t understand the capabilities of the sky people. He underestimated them before and definitely wouldn’t do that ever again. Jake had warned them in the past and they hadn’t listened, which had been a severe mistake. He wouldn’t dare to ignore Jake’s advice ever again that carelessly. But this also meant that he had to actually believe that such overwhelmingly power existed out there, and worse, in the hands of such troubled beings like the sky people. It was a frightening thing to acknowledge. If what he said was true, and Tsu’tey had no reason to believe otherwise, well… It was hard not to feel powerless or extremely worried for his people and his planet as a whole.

“I know, it is not very motivational… Back then we had the element of surprise on our side -and barely managed to win with Eywa’s help. I’m trying not to think about it that often, otherwise it is hard to enjoy anything. I manage it most of the days. But...”

He was at a loss of words and just shrugged. Tsu’tey had no idea how to respond. There were no words that could deliver some comfort. They relocated their people, started anew. But the danger of the much more technical advanced aliens was omnipresent.

Jake looked away again, he couldn’t stand the look he got from the other male. Heat rushed to his cheeks while memories of unspoken closeness between them dared to get to the surface again. Tsu’tey’s hand placed itself onto Jake’s, squeezing in reassurance. Jake gulped. The air got somehow too thick to breathe properly. He started to feel the phantom touch of Tsu’tey’s fingertips wandering all over him, caressing, his look completely bare and just so vulnerable. Jake had been the first thing, the first being Tsu’tey had been able to touch after getting out of the tank...

The former marine exhaled, fighting for control. It was hard not to grab the Na’vi and force him to touch him some more. To lose himself yet again in those eyes, full of emotions too intense to find words for them. He would’ve never guessed that there would ever be something else in them than indifferent acceptance. Not after their history.

And as if Tsu’tey had somehow been able to read his mind his hand wandered. Traced Jake's fingers with care, anxiety of some sorts but at the same time with anticipation. Shivering Jake closed his eyes, allowed himself to lean into the touch, granting the other male as much access as he could, not able to fight the urge to press himself further against his slender yet strangely solid hand.

Tsu’tey scoffed in amusement the moment Jake had to bite his lips to hold his moan back and he couldn’t help but wonder if Jakesully was also that sensible with Neytiri. He was jealous of their bond, of their children, their intimacy and official bond in general. Never would he have guessed back at the beginning that behind his grimness towards the alien he could be attracted to said one...

Sighing in pleasure Jake leaned against Tsu’tey, laying his head onto his shoulders carefully, fearing that the additional weight may put the Na'vi off balance. But Tsu’tey managed to withhold his position. He knew that Jake’s action was both out of craving for staying in direct body contact and to stop them both in doing something doomed to end in chaos.

Sighing Tsu’tey watched the Na’vi under them, eagerly managing their daily life, while both their leaders again almost successfully destroyed their lives. Growling in frustration he tried to shove Jake aside to stand up. Now it felt almost unbearable to be so close to someone that never would be his. Knowing that Jake at least enjoyed his advances to an instant was too much right now. He could not tell if Jake held romantic feelings for him or not. Lust was there, apparently. But anything above this?

“Tsu’tey wait, why-”

Jake stopped himself there, the furious gaze that he suddenly was opposed to confused him. And even more so the sudden retreat of the warrior even though he had been the one that initiated the contact in the first place.

“Tsu’tey...”

Aaaand he left, staggering but with determination. Sighing Jake knew that he would not gain anything from following the other one now. Tsu’tey needed space again. It always ended like this. And even though Jake tried so desperately to show his willingness for...well almost anything that meant being close to one another, he always lost Tsu’tey somewhere on the road.

He felt bad for wanting this so badly. For craving that man’s touch. He loved Neytiri, he really did. And he loved their children. He cared for Neytiri as his mate in every possible way that their bond would entitle them to. He mated with her on regular occasions and was satisfied. Their minds were just perfectly matched. And their sex life was stimulating.

And yet whenever being with Tsu’tey he found himself being confronted with something he hadn't known he'd missed the entire time before. His soul ached for the Na’vi the moment he 'd thought that he'd lost him for good. The moment of near death Tsu’tey had called him his brother and that fighting with him been his proudest moment in life...well, those words were still stuck in Jake's head, together with the feeling of unbearable sorrow.

The weeks after that had been so hard, always fearing that Tsu’tey may never recover, never open his eyes again, that he'll ust kind of floating in that tank for forever… It had been nearly unbearable! And with him getting this new job as Olo’eytan until further notice...well, it had forced him to leave Tsu’tey every day again and again, his flights to Hell’s Gate had been the reason for many discussions with Neytiri and Mo’at. But he hadn’t been able to leave him there. There had been... _something_. Nudging against his consciousness ever so slightly, almost forcing his mind to find back to the small blanket right before Tsu’tey’s tank.

On hindsight he did not understand properly why the discussions with his mate and mother-in-law had stopped that suddenly. He had a talk with Mo’at about Tsu’tey and the responsibility he’d entrusted him with. He’d cried back then, overwhelmed after the first month and with it no improvement regarding Tsu’tey’s condition. Jake wasn’t even sure what exactly had been exchanged that day. He just remembered his helplessness and shame for losing his shit before the old dragon lady.

Smiling slightly he got up, too. Mo’at was such a remarkable woman. He truly respected her, there clearly was no better mother-in-law than her for sure. And he definitely talked to her not often enough. His last visit had been many days ago. At least a private one, they saw each other every day for some clan business after all.

Deciding to go visit her he climbed down Tsu’tey’s home, shoving the remorse of what could’ve been to the side as well as the guilt he felt. On his way to Mo’at he decided to check on the children, with Neytiri still being on a hunt it was probably best to stick close to his little troublemakers...

 

The climb-down of the Toruk Makto was being watched by a sharp pair of eyes. Ateyo was watching the interactions of Toruk with his son for quite some time. Not entirely sure what he should think of those strange moments of closeness he witnessed so far. Until now those happenings to disgrace the bond with poor Mo’at’s daughter had been too small to force him into action. But recently those...attempts came more frequently and got more...inappropriate.

Sighing he began to climb up. He had to take matters into his hands, their clan was not ready to be exposed to awful events yet again.


End file.
